Time flies and its August already. Four more months to go and another year is going to come to an end. 

Time pass by way too fast without us knowing it and it taught me to treasure every moment even more and that I should take things seriously but not waaaay to seriously. And as the time passes by, many things can happen, like people can change in split seconds *not literally* and unexpected things might come along the way as well and I don 't know what the hell I'm typing right now and I just let the thoughts out. 

There are many people come and go in my life. I have no right to stop the flow but to accept it wholeheartedly. So far the traffic has been really good and I thank God it. Sometimes I wish the people that I left or people that left can come back because I just miss them. But sometimes words..hurtful words linger and they are more powerful than actions! *for me lar*. That taught me that I should be more patient and let it go. But there's one sentence that cuts deep through my heart till I can never forget no matter what. and that very sentence shuts the door even though I miss all the talk and laughter together. Sigh. 

 

and now I don't know what to type anymore. Take care.

 Life sucks. 

Wow, it has really been awhile since i sign in to this old, dusty and untouch blogspot. I was thinking, should I delete this entire blog or should I just let it be and rust and evaporate by itself. Unknown and dead. So finally its April already. Damn, the time just don't want to have a break don't they? Don't you realize it is ticking faster than usual?

So January, February and March has gone and remain static as history. For the past three months of 2013, it has been unpredictable. Like seriously. Too many things happened. It was really bittersweet. Within that short 3 months, I am proud to say that I've gone through everything. From horribly bad to heavenly good. That is the cycle nor the process that we have to go through in life right. HAHAH! Talking about Life. Life.. Life..Life.

Can't believe I'm living my last teen year now. I can't believe I'm one year closer to wear those ah mah clothes. NOOOO I am not ready YET! Anyhooo.. I am supposedly doing my work now but I got distracted till I found my way here. That shows how far I've been carried away because heading to this site never cross my mind at all. 

Whazzaaaap!! :)

Another Bloody Entry

Something is bothering me. In fact that is basically an everyday thing to me. I just couldn't figure it out. So far I gotta say that I live in a horrible world. Why? Because unwanted drama revolves around me and it is eating me out from the inside out. I have basically no one to turn to because only God knows what I've been going through and as a matter of  fact, only God knows all the things that is bothering me that even I myself don't quite know what it is, or maybe I'm just being too ignorant to know about what is really bothering me.

So Elsie is finally in Sandakan and pursuing her next level in education world and I have to admit that I miss her so much. Despite all her annoyance and her fierceness. I got lonelier ever since she left. There's no one left at home to spend time with. Parents are busy with their own stuff and eldest sister has her boyfriend to take care of. So basically now, is just me myself and I. I feel so pathetic at the moment.

In the next one month plus, I'm going to sit for my first semester test aka STPM. As you all know, the system this year has changed and it is not like the STPM before. Am I prepared? To be honest, no. I don't know what happened to me but every time I want to start doing my revision, somehow everything is a distraction to me. Even if I put my phone away from me, out of my sight, my mind will start to be the great devil to distract me with thoughts. Thoughts that I don't wanna think and wish to delete it. How can one focus on their book for hours? Why can't I?

I need to learn to be discipline. Yes I know. Every one in the family has been pushing me, or nagging me about it. But I just can't seem to digest their words and that is when I came to realise that I can't accept people yelling at me all the time. The more you yell or nag, the more I got annoyed and the more lazier I get and the more I don;t wanna care and the more I wanna do the opposite way. You get what I mean? What hurts the most is when u expect your very own family to be there or at least try to listen to what is bothering you ignores you and scolding you instead? And that is when one can be depressed or keep everything to themselves because you shut them out first.

I always wanna be there for someone else, but no one would do the same for me. Once you've disappoint me, I'm sorry, everything you do will only repels me from you. Because it won't feel the same anymore. I can't believe that I actually have to blog this out and this shows that only through blog I can express it out. Sometimes I don't know why I just can't say no to people and sometimes why can't I be mean?

I guess I'm letting go of everything. I don't want anything anymore. No, this is not suicidal entry. I love myself and I won't do such things to harm myself. :)

Being ignorant is what I practice now?

Shit Happens

Shit happens, oh hell yeah they do. It is just up to you how you take it. Some may have a hard time solving it, some may have the greatest idea - to ignore it. Towards the end of the day, the only one that can be there for you is only you yourself and of course God. No one understands you more better than you do. You have to be strong and keep your head up high. Even if there is someone willing to share your burden and lift them up, but when you really think about it, is it fair to them? What do they get in return? So, to create less trouble, try not to care too much about the 'outside world' and start minding your own business. Well, it is not wrong to care actually, but if you can't even care about your own shits, how do you expect you can help others? Right? 

Oven Chicken

Hey guys, long time no update huh? Well, today I'm going to errr SHARE my joy and happiness with y'all. Today is my very first attempt to cook a chicken which I dump everything into the oven and I realized that whatever comes out from the oven it will definitely smells good unless it is burnt of course. So here's what I cook myself for lunch! For a beginner cook like me, I consider myself not bad afterall.

Dear Aishah! I hope you stalk my blog. wait i know im going to tweet u to. So here it goes. 

Ahem ahem

Mic check mic check

DEAR AISHAH. I can't really see all your posts in your blog. BOTH blogs. And I can't seem to find the comment column or anything. Alright thank you bye bye *Cikgu Shahizam's tone. *